ANGLES.
You know that moment, when you look in the mirror, and you are about to turn away, but you see something so grotesquely wrong with you, that you turn and look again. That extra wrinkle, that darkening of skin. Maybe its too big, maybe its too small. Maybe its the wrong shape. Whatever it is, its horrifically ugly, and its on YOU.
So you stand there, and you push and you pull and you poke and you prod. You turn in a circle, and twist this way and that, examining it from every angle.
You try to ease the anxiety you have toward the imperfection. You lean closer and revel in the glory of its atrocity, and then you lean back and desperately focus on a better feature. See? I’m not ugly, this is pretty…some people think this is pretty…right?
The momentary strength that resided in your choice to focus on something pretty, melts away until it is a limp, grey, puddle at your feet. You hone in immediately on the offending feature…again. And MAN OH MAN, is it still there and is it still UGLY.
Then there is that moment where you just stand in the bathroom and stare into your own eyes. A kind of desolate acceptance washes over you. The imperfection is in the exact same place that it was earlier. It is still intact. Its still terrible, and…
wait…
ITS STILL PART OF YOU. Where did “love thy neighbor as thyself” go ? Whatever happened to self respect, and learning to love and accept our bodies?
This kind of behavior stems from the media telling us what the “perfect” girl should look like. And you know what? Its BULLSHIT. Because everyone is different. Did you catch that?
EVERYONE
IS
DIFFERENT.
And that is one of the most beautiful things about being human. And since everyone is different, that means that everyone LIKES different things. So that feature you hate with ever fiber of your humanity, may be charming, beautiful, cute, intriguing, even sexy, to someone in the future. And maybe that someone will change your life.
But you know what is even more likely? That someone in your life ALREADY loves that feature because its part of YOU and they love Y.O.U.
Im not preaching this like its easy to accept. My own body has red marks on it from all my pulling and pinching, trying to squeeze my curvy self into a shape I’ll never be, nor was ever MEANT to be. Yet still I try, and still I hate. But still I HOPE.
I hope to learn to accept my body for ME. Because it is part of me, and I can only change so much of it. I need to learn to RESPECT it. I dont have to think im the hottest thing on the block, but I need to look in the mirror and respect myself. Treating your body with love and nourishing your mental process with self acceptance is just as big a part of respecting yourself as a whole, as not walking the streets as a prostitute.
So next time you catch yourself looking in the mirror with disgust, STOP.
Stand up tall.
Raise your chin.
And say to the mirror
“I may not see it now, But I am beautiful, and someone out there loves me the way I am. I LOVE ME.”
Don’t believe it?
SAY IT AGAIN.
Because maybe all the turning and twisting you’ve been doing still hasn’t given you the right angle. Be proud of yourself. Respect yourself. LOVE YOURSELF.
now, THATS a new angle.
